Simpsons Voices

...pretty cool, probably old.

Scared Owl

from digg

Album Review: Pharrell - In My Mind

Eventually I will diversify into reviewing albums in other genres, like rock or soul or something else. Actually I can give you a quick review of all Country Music right now. Country Music sucks worse than any other kind of music I have ever heard. I'd rather listen to a Ravi Shankar album on repeat for 24 hours than listen to any type of country music. That's my review of all country music.

But for now, I'll stick to R&B/Rap/Hip-Hop, and I'll jump into this Pharrell album. I'm not exactly sure what music type this counts as. I guess it's a mixture of all three. For those of you who have no idea who Pharrell is, or Pharrell Williams to put it better, he's one half of the production team known as The Neptunes. They have worked with artists ranging from Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears to Noreaga and Busta Rhymes. Click on the links if you need any more information than that.

Pharrell has been singing on many of the songs he's produced for years now, and it's not completely abhorrent singing. It's not good by any stretch of the imagination, but there are many worse singers. Well, maybe not many, but there are at least some people who sing worse than him. In recent years he has even shown himself to be an adequate rapper, without needing someone to write lyrics for him ala Sean "Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy" Combs.

Somewhere over the years, he decided that putting out a solo album was in his future. He had already been the frontman for the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., but he wanted to go even more solo than that. Pharrell came up with the idea of him doing an album half singing and half rapping. That is how "In My Mind" was born. Quick quotes from a friend upon hearing the Pharrell album:

"While I was listening to the album, I thought Cyndi Lauper was going to hop out at any minute"

"It sounds like he wants to be androgynous, in the vein of a Prince, but the talent unfortunately isn't there"

"It sounds like an 80's pop album"

The lead single on the album came out earlier this year, and is probably one of the better tracks on the album. "Can I Have it Like That", sees him going back and forth with Gwen Stefani on a semi infectious hook. His monotone rapping fits the hard driving beat well, and it comes out as a solid song. It's also the first song on the album. When I was in high school and first song on the album was the lead single, the album was usually bad. And unfortunately, the same follows true with this album. It's is as if Pharrell has no idea where he wants to go on this album. At times he sounds like an R&B crooner in the Gregory Abbott vein, other times he's clearly copying Prince. His singing is painfully whiny, almost like Keith Sweat was writing the songs for him.

As far as Pharrell the rapper, his lyrics are pathetically boring and uninventive. On the track "Raspy Shit" he raps "you wanna get up in my boat and ride, take pictures with the kid up on Ocean Drive" and blends in other big money items like Ferraris, and more mentions of expensive women's shoes. However, this track is one of the better moments on the album, the rest of the album is pretty pointless with appearances from Snoop Dogg, Nelly, Pusha T from the Clipse, and Jay-Z (who lays one of the laziest Jay-Z verses in recent memory). There is one song that definitely drew my ire. The last track on the album is called "Skateboard P Presents Show You How to Hustle"...now not at one point in his musical career has he ever professed to be any kind of drug dealer or street hustler, however on this song he laments the proper way to hustle drugs or any other kind of illicit material. Unfortunately, he also mentions that he has done none of the things he is saying, taking anyway any credence the song might have had. He explains about knowing people who have hustled and went to jail, etc. Whatever, it's stupid to make a song about a lifestyle you didn't lead and then say on the same song you know other people you did so you are allowed to talk about it.

So we are left with an album from Pharrell, that probably none of us wanted in the first place. As I told a friend recently, this album screams out "stick to making music for other artists". Hopefully he will realize that...and move on with his career.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

Non Sequitur: Snakes on a Plane

If you know me, you should already know what Snakes on a Plane is, however I will recap throughout this post if you don't.

Back in Jul/August of '05 I was working as on-air talent(hahahahaha), on what seems to be a pretty large radio station in the DC Area, WJFK-FM. At the time I started it was the local DC station that carried Howard Stern's live broadcast, which is a pretty big deal in some circles. Either way, the show I was on needed more bits and things to talk about. One idea we had was to do a Fall movie preview, which we thought would be easy, but wasn't as simple as it seemed. During this big I decided I would start to just look up major stars on imdb.com (if you don't know what imdb.com is, you really need to re examine some things in your life) and see what some of their upcoming movies were.

I go through the usual suspects, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, etc. Whatever. I then stumble onto none other than Samuel L. Jackson. There are a few movies listed...Freedomland, Black Snake Moan, and others, and then at the bottom "Snakes on a Plane". Now for those of you that are familiar with IMDB, sometimes the titles they have for certain movies, are just the working titles only to be changed in the future. So I look around on the page for information on title changes or whatever. Seems the other working titles for the movie were Flight 121, Pacific Air 121, and Pacific Air Flight 121. I figure that one of those titles will eventually be subbed back in, and I start to lose interest. However, I decide to do a quick search on the title to see what comes up. Much to my astonishment, I find that "Snakes on a Plane" IS the official title. I figure this has to make it to air, and I keep researching. Turns out, Samuel L. Jackson protested the changing of the title stating that it was one of the main reasons he decided to do the movie. He then says "Snakes on a Plane, you either want to see that or you don't".

So we go on air, and I get to the Samuel L. Jackson movies, I get to Snakes on a Plane and the show comes to a screeching halt. Peter makes me repeat myself on the title, then explain if that was the official title. This led to two segments worth of Snakes on a Plane discussion, with the topics ranging from Peter nicknaming it Snakey Plane, to having listeners call in with sequel ideas (Snakes on a plane 2: Snakes on a train...etc). Needless to say, hilarity ensued, and I think it was one of our better segments on the show.

So there...I was either first, or one of the earliest to start the Snakes on a Plane phenomenon. And best believe on August 18th, I will be in line to see it.

Links:

Snakes on a Plane (IMDB)

Snakes on a Plane (Wikipedia)

Snakes on a Blog

Top 10 Worst Referee Calls

From digg.com

Top 10 Worst Referee Calls

Some Highlights:

Number 10

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Detroit Lions

1998 NFL Thanksgiving Game
Referee: Phil Luckett

A referee is always ribbed about his questionable vision, but for NFL official Phil Luckett, it was one of his other four senses that malfunctioned during an overtime coin toss. Steelers running back Jerome Bettis distinctly called “tails” and his declaration was heard through field audio. But when the coin landed with “tails” facing up, Luckett awarded the ball to the Detroit Lions.

Outcome: The Steelers kicked off in overtime and never saw the ball again. Detroit would drive down the field and kick the game-winning 42-yard field goal.

Number 8

Kansas City Royals vs. New York Yankees

1983
Referee: Tim McClelland

If being the first baseball player to attain 3,000 hits, 300 home runs, 600 doubles, 100 triples, 1,500 runs batted in, and 200 stolen bases isn’t enough to be remembered for, how about a terrific temper tantrum? When third baseman George Brett of the Royals gave his team a 5-4 lead with a ninth-inning two-run home run, Yankees manager Billy Martin protested to the home plate umpire, Tim McClelland, that Brett had more than 18 inches of pine tar on his bat. After a quick measure, McClelland signaled Brett out and awarded the Yankees a victory. Brett stormed out of the dugout and had to be physically restrained from a face-to-face confrontation with McClelland.

Outcome: The Royals obviously felt robbed and protested. American League President Lee MacPhail upheld their objection, stating that an umpire could only remove the bat from the game and could not call the batter out. The remainder of the game was to be completed later in the season, beginning after Brett’s home run. The Royals would hold on for a 5-4 victory.


...I tried finding video of these events, to no avail. If someone finds them let me know.

Getting an Early Start

from thesmokinggun.com

JULY 18--Claiming that their young daughter discovered a used condom in a Las Vegas hotel bed and then put the rubber in her mouth, a Scottish couple is suing Caesar's Palace for negligence and emotional distress. According to a lawsuit filed July 13 in Clark County District Court, five-year-old Caitlin Kilcoyne found the condom during a July 2004 Sin City visit with her parents Gerald and Jacqueline.

Hotel Guests Sue over Vegas Condom Shocker

Caitlin "found a used condom in the made up bed in her room...and placed the condom in her mouth,"

...at least she was using protection?

Sperm Donor Porn???

from thesmokinggun.com

JULY 20--Claiming that he found a video camera hidden in the ceiling of a sperm bank's "donation room," a Los Angeles man is suing the firm for negligence and emotional distress.

Man Sues Sperm Bank over hidden Camera

Upon inspection, Rigberg realized that "there was a hidden surveillance camera on top of the ceiling tile, with the lens of the camera positioned to...capture the activity within the private donor room." Rigberg is described in the lawsuit as a "regular sperm donor" who went to Pacific "to provide an honorable and essential benefit to his community."

Random Blabbering...

So yeah, I'm kind of in a funk over some news I got this morning...So I think I'm just gonna spit out a few things that have been on my mind.

As I've just recently moved to "Downtown Silver Spring" there are a couple things I'll yap about regarding my current status.

• took an entire weekend to move about 2 apartments worth of shit...I swear I will never move my own stuff again.
• I suggest that if you are twentysomething, and living in apartments, and have to actually purchase furniture...buy it from ikea...they have perfected the art of making furniture that lasts just long enough for the transient, constantly moving young adult. You don't know how many times I cursed myself for buying this stupid bedroom set thats gonna last me 10-15 years. That shit is heavy, and now its all fucked up from being moved twice in a year. Whereas the shit i bought from ikea was cheap, easy to move, and if it broke while i was moving...who cares.
  
• Downtown Silver Spring is painstakingly trying to become Downtown Bethesda...it's a ways away, but not completely out of the question. One issue they need to deal with is the influx of urban teenagers (man i sound like a republican, trust me I'm not) to the downtown area at night.
  
• Nothing like seeing a 15 year old kid with more money in his pocket than me, arguing with a bike cop at 8pm on a monday cause the kid and his crew are loitering in front of City Place.
• During the move I decided to buy a 50 inch tv...it's great.
• those of you moving in the next few months...Call Comcast at least 2 weeks before your move in date or you will be sitting without cable and internet for weeks...sigh.
• Also to those who don't realize it yet...cable and high speed internet...it's not an option anymore, it's just like the rest of your utility bills...Water, Electricity, Cable/Internet. Anyone who can afford high speed internet and doesn't have it...I have no words for you.
• There are no fast food restaurants with drive thru windows in downtown Silver Spring. My roommate drove 20 minutes to get Wendy's last night. If you think real hard about what I said in the beginning you will realize why they don't have any downtown.
  

• It's been two weeks now, and half of the stuff for the kitchen hasn't been put away yet...however, the new tv, new tv stand and surround sound system have been set up for at least 9 days.

Done for now...maybe more later. I've wanted to post more, but there just hasn't been much to post. I may post some more writing things that I have saved up...but who knows.

Mac ad Parody - Best Week Ever

pretty funny

Final BET UnCut Segment...

Sorry it took me so long to put this up...but they put together a montage of some of the greatest moments of BET UnCut. Tears may fall.

Why I'm embarrassed by black people sometimes...

From Hotghettomess.com




check the site out...not completely safe for work...

Site link

Check this one out for an interesting belt buckle

Mr. T vs. Best Buy...featuring Steve Carrell

From Digg

"This is Bull****!!!!"
-Steve Carrell

Shopping made ridiculously hard...

Regular shopping with a stocking pulled over your face...

from Digg




P.S.: I know two people from high school who robbed different convenience stores...without masks on...both are in jail now.

Quick Update

Yeah so I moved over the past weekend...and I've actually had some semblance of work to do at my job. In addition, I just finally got cable installed last night, (current status: one cable box and internet, other rooms still aren't wired...stupid comcast). So i'm not neglecting this thing, and there will be other posts up today...in case you care.

In the meantime read the blogs I have listed on the right, they are much funnier than mine anyway.

Adios BET UnCut...

An american institution has died...we all should have a moment of silence.

From Allhiphop.com

"BET Uncut," a music video program from Black Entertainment Television, has been canceled after a six year run on the entertainment television network.

The show was discontinued by BET executives, according to sources, and the last episode aired last Friday (July 8) in a finale hosted by rapper/producer Jermaine Dupri.

BET UnCut gets cut

The show made headlines in 2004 after various African-American women's groups protested because of the portrayal of women when Nelly's "Tip Drill" became a standout video. In the video, Nelly, The St. Lunatics and David Banner indulge in sexual folly with strippers and at the climatic point, Nelly swipes a credit card between a woman's buttocks.

...how could something that produced so many college memories, be taken away so cruelly.

The Guy Shield..

In a recent conversation I revealed to a female the average guy shield. What exactly is it you ask?. Well of course I'll tell you so that I can be self-serving.

It is a commonly held notion of females, that men in general, are stupid by nature. They engage in trivial and nonsensical activities, and do things that will by and large make no sense to females. Fine. If females would like to go under the impression that many of our actions our silly, I have chosen to go with it instead of fighting a losing battle.

Therefore I have employed a method I like to call "The Guy Shield". Essentially, it works like this. Whenever doing something that others of the opposite sex (or same sex) might deem silly or borderline retarded, I throw up my Guy Shield by saying "Hey, wait a minute, I'm a guy I'm supposed to do stupid things", and the situation is averted.

Elementary my dear Watson.

P.S. After speaking with Arlene this morning, I am willing to listen to addendums on adding a Girl Shield for when women do something crazy.

J2: Juggment Day Part 1

Originated with this

This is the sequel...

J2: Juggment Day...Part 2

More from the Emmitt Smith Roast: Guy Torry

Not Safe for Work!

Real (stupid) Superheroes?

from Digg

A young man stands on the south side of the Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument. The ominous stone memorial looms above him as he waits on the top steps dressed in black pinstriped pants and vest, a pressed black button-down shirt, a black felt hat and silver gloves.

This man, who refuses to reveal his real name when in costume, carries a silver-topped cane. A silver mask hides any expression, revealing little more than soft brown eyes.

While his costume does plenty to conceal his identity, it belies a fit physique. His stealth movements, inspiration for his superhero name Mr. Silent, evidence years of martial arts.

"Hey, what are you?" a passerby asks. "A mime?"

"No," he responds, handing him a card that reads simply: "Mr. Silent," along with the Japanese characters for "quiet repose" and an e-mail address.

"Hey, you're supposed to be Mr. Silent; you just talked," the man says, looking up from the card. "So what do you do?"

"I fight crime."

Mr. Silent


...utter ridiculousness

Rell Battle

Friend of mine is an up and coming comedian/actor/writer/whatever...Here are some clips of him from a recent performance. Also check out the site these came from and vote for his performances if you like them. StupidVideos.com, That link will take you to the standup section of the site, and just click on any of the videos that say "Rell Battle".

P.S. Kind of safe for work, as the curses are all bleeped out.

MySpace



Birdflu



Bill Cosby

Can You Kick It?

From Digg

BERLIN (Reuters) - Police in Berlin said on Wednesday they had arrested two men on suspicion of placing cement-filled soccer balls around the city and inviting people to kick them.

Cement Balls

Conan O' Brien at Stuyvesant High Graduation....Full Clip

Update: I did not realize the video did not work yesterday, nor did anyone tell me. Whoever posted it to youtube requested no video embedding...whatever. I found it on google video, seen from different angle. Enjoy.

NJ Follies...

For anyone who reads this thing, and hasn't figured it out, I'm from New Jersey. I know everyone hates New Jersey, and I've heard every derisive comment you can imagine. I was born and raised there, and it will always be home to me. However, it seems as if the NJ gov't, most recently famous for the outing of the Governor Jim McGreevey and his scandal with homosexuality, has again screwed things up. On a quick side note, NJ once had a governor, Jim Florio, who issued a tax on toliet paper. Yes, special tax on toliet paper. 'Nuff Said.

One of the things Jersey is most famous for is Atlantic City. Sure, it's been called the red headed step sister of Las Vegas, but it's the closest any of you will get to vegas without flying. The casinos keep NJ's floundering tourism department afloat. Unfortunately, the idiots who are currently running the NJ gov't have not approved the STATE budget. Basically the entire state gov't is running without a budget, meaning that all non essential state functions have been stopped, and those that are essential, are no working for free. It also means...THE CASINOS CLOSE...it was being fought in court as recently as this weekend, but the most recent reports say that the Casinos are closing up shop...Sigh. We even made CNN. Way to go New Jersey.

No Dice, Atlantic City

I am your conscience...

Setup: Shaq does a roast when Emmitt Smith breaks the all time rushing record, for Emmitt Smith. Jamie Foxx is the host, he introduces one of the comedians, and then basically doesn't let him finish his act. You'll see.